Mommy Wars

Note:  Mothers, no offence please :)

Mommy wars? I've never even heard of this until I had a baby.

The Mommy wars started right from the day my beautiful baby girl was born. A lot of visitors came to see me and the baby at the hospital. And the first comment usually was, 'Wow! She's so small. 2.4 kgs only? May be you didn't eat well during your pregnancy. You know I used to eat dry fruits, apples and healthy food throughout my pregnancy. And my baby was born 3.5 kgs!' 'Really?' I wanted to ask them sarcastically. But no, there's no point in arguing with mothers. All the mothers always know 'the best way to raise a baby'.

And the next 'best' one comes at 3.5 months: 'What?!! The baby is still not rolling? My baby started rolling at three months only. Of course, every baby is different,' they add a little smugly.

At five months, all mothers are full of advice: 'You should limit feeding her milk now.She's ready for solids. I used to give my baby healthy food like Ragi, dal etc., from four months only. We make a special kind of powder with Ragi, all kinds of dals, which is really healthy for the baby. I'll give you the recipe.' At four months?! Aamir Khan has been trying to change the mindset of the people with his ads that mother's milk is best for the baby until six months. But, it's not having any effect on the psyche of older generation.

This one at six months: 'What?! You are allowing her to sit? It will bend her spinal cord and she'll walk hunched the rest of her life'. My expression * full of horror*
This, I get all the time: 'You are using disposable diapers? That will make her bowlegged.' *Rolling my eyes*

'You're not talking enough. How will she learn talking? I used to talk to my baby all the time. And she started talking at nine months.'
'Has she started crawling yet?'
'Doesn't she wave good bye? My baby started waving at ten months only.'
'Is she standing on her own now?'
'Her hair is very less. May be you drank coconut water during your pregnancy.I used to tie a rubber band to my baby's hair when she was just six months old.'

And the list goes on... As a mother, what a girl expects from a fellow mother is reassurance. But what a first time mom generally receives is never ending advice on how to raise a baby 'the best way' and all the while she always hears anecdotes of how the other mothers successfully raised better babies.

We all want to brag. And after the time and effort we put into babies, we want to show 'the right path' to the ignorant first time moms. But ladies, control yourself in front of a first time mom. This is not a competition. You need not mention how 'early' your baby did everything. All babies grow up in their own way. Reassure a first time mom, don't scare her!

Okay, the entire post is for other's benefit. Now that I'm an 'experienced' mom, any first-time pregnant ladies out there can come to me for advice :P


  1. Good One Divya :) So will you first tell about your baby and suggest the other moms .. or will you reassure them :p

  2. Santhi, after what I experienced, I cannot brag even if I want to :P There are no set rules for raising a baby. To each their own. So, I'm just here to reassure :)

  3. Good one Divya.. I guess every mother faces this situation and especially from elderly mothers . Unasked and unwanted Advice free of cost.

  4. very well written!! I wonder how many mothers would have quoted - "I have always been supportive of fellow mothers. This doesn't apply to me ." :P